The Necroplanicus-the Book of Dead Projects

With Susan Boyle getting more hits the "The Book" Fat Ladies of a certain undisclosed age were going to, at last, take over the Media. Still the only way to lose a "No Confidence Vote" was, obviously, to be VERY confident.

It is a little known fact that the Doors were the first exponents of Garage music but they were changed by a large intake of mistletoe gin.



They spent most of their time between gigs pondering on imponderables such as:



How do you start a fat ladies singing contest?



What do have to do to lose a vote of No Confidence?



and whats more ...

It was a well known fact the Doors were inadvertantly blown off in N. Italy during a practice session only to re-emerge later as universally acclaimed rock band headed up by Jim Morrison.

Another thing? It most certainly was, but nobody was quite sure what, unless it was one of the unexplained phenomenon. But since no-one could explain them it was easier just to ignore them and put them down to the fact that the missing doors fron the stone circles had become unhinged.



Of course this was due to the fact that they opened outwards and were always being slammed by noisy, teenage druids on their way out to the nearest rave to score some illicit mistletoe. This did not, however, alter the fact that the missing doors improved the view from inside the circle but did make things rather draughty, all in all a small price to pay. But it did not answer the question where did the doors go?

Half awake from the half dead arcane thoughts drifted through what was left of his mind.



Could there have been doors in the gaps of stone circles if they had known about stone hinges?



Who knows? Who cares?



and another thing

With 10,398 hits (inclusive of replies/comments/rants/ meadnerings)and 22 pages long Larrys love child awaited fellow Necros to awaken from the almost dead.

And so the Necroplanicus, opened one eye, yawned, stretched, had a quick scratch and paused. Would the wake up continue into full alertness, or would it relax into slumber once more, its vibrant discussions of all things bizarre a fading memory.

Indeed former Necs were coming out of hybernation to find some Royal Ranters had been deposed. Still the PP trend setters for twittering (or is it tweeting)were virtually still on line and aligned.

Spring is springing.

Will this mean a resurgence of life for Necroplanicus?

Will anybody tell Clive that Charlie has left Planning Planet?

Will the stars tremble in their courses etc. etc.?

Hi All



I have heard of Family Planning - is that where you get baby planners?



Best regards



Mike Testro

During the 17 months incubation period for morphing,decent reading material was in short supply. Imagine the joy of rediscovering that PP had stashed, concealed and stored NEC BODP for future generations of pre pubescent planners.

Where was the mad Frenchman? Sweaty Betty? Was it true they has met, married and made lots of baby planners or was she languishing in Torry Rig Blast Yard or getting help up at gun point in Rio for her luncheaon vouchers?

Still, time or google would tell. It always did.

No, he was spotted havin a wee dram on the corner but 10 minutes ago, it was someone else.

Imminent, but something was missing.

An old friend enters the room but says nothing. Could this be the start of another Necroplanicus mystery?

Folks,



definitely not cubans...i love the easy bit, i’m lazy!

Hi Anoon,



You’re telling me you only work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and you get to sleep?! Man, you’re on easy street.



Chris

working on dead projects is 24 hrs a day; 7 days a week; and all the rest is sleep! you got 12 months of summer and all the rest is winter! you got no time to resign!

Just back to the land of no rush hour, expensive beer, sunny long days and evening swims, M had had her fill of mince tatties neeps, skirlie, rain and midgies. She was surprised in deed to learn that, considering the demand for plannersm, that anyone of you worked Fridays and Monday.

Cruuumbs! I never expected that!

POETS Day

Mary had a little lamb, missing in the bush, Jack beans stalk tried to help find in the field, its seems nothing relate.

va confersaytions juz bean got morr insayn? Watts gong on?

and espeshully Handcock eggs cos they is not part of an balansed diet so is not pollitticaly rite

Diddunt you no that eggs is band. They is full of salmon and ella....whoever they r.

Spelling or content??? Should we bow to the Queen or bough to the Queen. Should we stand at the bow or the bough of the ship, shoot a bough-and-arrow.....geddit? Spelling defines content.



Just gimme the grilled mars-bar.

As the clock ticked 8:45, RANDALL made an an assumption.

Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?

They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.

But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

Spell checking Clive! As with project plans, it is the content not the spelling of a header that is important.

As the clock ticked 8:45, Randell made an an assumption.

Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?

They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.

But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

After returning from a week working away, Oliver found that that everybody on the planning planet forum had gone quite insane.

Where once talk of logic networks filled the air, now insane ramblings were common-place, even with no Charlie in sight.

Come on Chris, we planners don’t need to know what has gone before, we are only concerned with how to get to the required goal in the shortest possible time - hence Mornington Crescent!!!!

I’ve just read back over the past couple of dozen posts and find myself wondering how on earth we got here! There are a number of possible explanations; one that springs to mind is that we are all incredibly talented individuals with a flair for free-wheeling creativity. Alternatively it could be that we’re all completely bonkers.

Its like honey... If u take litle its become energy, if more you got diabeties. Is it Cliff?

Grilled mackeral with rocket - super! Follow that with the strawberries, but instead of cream, sprinkle them lightly with balsamic vinegar. I know it sounds disgusting, but wait ’til you try it.

this is real! i’ve just come from the WC and my manager is asking where the h**l i’ve been? i’m wasting the company’s time...anyone can advice a better answer? by the way i’ve already resigned...

Now your just getting picky!



Ho about freshly caught mackerel grilled lightly over an open fire on the beach and served with a watercress and rocket salad dressed with lemon vinaigrette.



Oh and fresh strawberries and cream for afters.



That should bring Oscar back from the dead, or even Norway!

Clive,



I must admit what Nieman suggested sounds alright, provided that you left out the deep fried Mars bars and the fried bread, got rid of the onion gravy and replaced the scotch pie, chips and mushy peas with venison pie, game chips and freshly cooked, lightly buttered asparagus.

Now come on, boys, what you need is a nice hot scotch pie and chips, covered in lashings of onion gravy, with mushy peas and a side plate doorstep of fried white bread, followed by that Glaswegian speciality dessert, a deep fried Mars bar or two.

Steak pie, puff pastry, untainted by weeds. Creamy mash made with full-fat milk. White bread, fresh from the oven, thickly smeared with heavily salted butter.



oooooohhhhh....I’m ’avin a ’eart attack.

Beef and Stilton pie, or maybe rabbit, and go with the mash, but skip the sour cream, instead plenty of butter, a touch of fresh cream and black pepper.

Yes....it definitely could get better than that!!!!



How about a steaming pie & chips, drenched in succulent beef gravy with a fresh slice of white bread, just ready to dip in and mop-up the last remnants. Not to mention a warm pint of frothy John Smiths.

Alas M could only stand the empty JJ lifestyle for 2 weeks and had returned to Land of the Midnight Sun and Drunks.

Forever glad NEC had not slid into oblivion, she enquired if SW (formerly the girl from Rio the land of lunch voucher lunch time stick ups) was up for a sherry and shabba in SHC in the next 2 weeks.

Enough of this healthy fish and salad diet. Why eat salmon, shrimp, and lobster when we could be eating curry!

Then for over two months, nothing happened!

What is going on? Or rather what isn’t going on.

Through a sinister twist and a quantum distortion will M be forced to remain in her morphed identity as Jumeria Jane?

Will the stars tremble in their courses?

Will the Necroplanicus slide silently into oblivion?

Coo-err!

Bored of the Owners enclosure and the International Village Bubbly crowd at the Dubai World Cup, M was furious she had not picked up the best dressed jackpot.



By a strange twist of fate at Ski Dubai, M morphed into a Jumeria Jane albeit on a temporary basis and was to be found each morning in the Coffe Bean and Tea Leaf on the Beach Road.



Finding the letters page in the 7DAYS riveting stuff and intending using it as research & regurgitation for TN TBODP she had come to the conclusion that regular readers of the NEC were sane after all.



Incase NEC be trivialised and accused of being non informative, the Gulf News also proved to be informative for Planning Jobs in the Middle East.

Gwen,



Thanks for putting the record straight, I was worried it was going to be black armbands. I wondered what to do with the bottle of Laphroaig I got to pour a libation to his immortal soul, but I suppose I’ll just have to drink it myself.



Chris Oggham

Passed away ...........

i dont think it will change you!!!

Bull! He is sitting on my sun deck drinking my duty free the wee devil and sends his regards.

For all those people who think he does not exist, he is actually a well paid, highly sought after, former Project Manager/Director who specialises in Claims in the Middle East. Civils, O & G, he is not fussy as long as he gets enough cash to keep me in the custom to which I have become used to. I think his grandmother came from the Eastern block but thats another story.

Livet, bloody right I’m Livet

Clive - how could you mix up your two favourite S.L.A.P.P.E.R.S.

Makes the mind (Glen)Bogle so it does...

oh dear

oh dear

OH DEAR!!!



Oscar back!!!!!!!!!!

Clive

Fiona is the Glen Livet person I am the Glenbogle person!

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