A Little Light Relief

D
Darren Kosa 👤 Member for 18 years 3 months
C
Christopher (Chris) Carson 👤 Member for 20 years 2 months

Here’s a good story that exemplifies the difference between Project Controls and Project Management:



A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced his altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”



"The man below replied, "You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 45 degrees north latitude and between 9 and 60 degrees west longitude."



"You must be in Project Controls" said the balloonist.



"I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"



"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip."



The man below responded, "You must be a Project Manager."



"I am!" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"



"Well", said the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault."

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Darren Kosa 👤 Member for 18 years 3 months

One that’s been doing the rounds for a while, but I received an e-card with this on...



"I’d be much more into this project if you disguised it as a facebook application."



Probably means more to the youngsters amongst us. ;)

C
Chris Oggham 👤 Member for 22 years

Hi Darren,



What a good idea!



Parkinson, Murphy and Sod are alive and well and working on your project.



A little Risk Management saves a lot of fan cleaning.



Short-term projects are like stones, long-term projects are like jewels - and there are few jewels and many stones in this world. -- Fr. Roberto Busa



Chris Oggham

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Andrew Dick 👤 Member for 19 years 3 months

Oh and I forgot this one.



It is a bad plan that admits of no modifications. - Publius Syrus 42 BC

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Andrew Dick 👤 Member for 19 years 3 months

I Love Milestones - I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by!



Although I can’t claim this as my own - It’s still true.

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Mike Testro 👤 Member for 20 years 5 months

Hi Darren



How about:



Old planners never die - they have an accelerated finish.

Most planners are a few links short of a critical path.

A consultant is someone who borrows your watch then tells you the time.



Best regards



Mike Testro

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