The Necroplanicus-the Book of Dead Projects

oh dear

what rymes with bloody glenboigle

it’s another form of entertainment, or you can boil it in the pot! and it will give you a lot of gut! like coffee for the nuts!

"what I ask is WBS another form of"

Why? Probably like spending a night with Romanoviv!

whether it’s WBS or Codes, doesn’t matter, as long as oscar can get out of that gutter, or he might be DRAGGED by a planner...

Volunteer moderators - Full of suspicion

Left red faced, almost crimson

for fiction is not the real action, and would not make dead projects live...

...cos they have, no humorous vision.

From post to post the planners flit

To exercise spontaneous wit,

To answer questions in a trice,

To give a little sound advice,

To function within Planning Planet

Until the moderators can it,

We really do try hard to help,

Despite the moderators’ yelp,

Their censorship is hard to bear,

But we press on because we care,

We make a point, a humerous thrust

And then that post will "bite the dust"

Our fists we clench, our teeth we grit,

Volunteer moderators - Full of suspicion.



Sorry couldn’t think of a rhyme for that last line.



Chris Oggham

Chris and All PPers,



If you cast your minds back into the middle of last year, there was a VOTE on how the moderators should moderate. A number of options were offered. It seemed, however, that not all tha many people voted - but the general consensus seemed to indicate that the moderators should moderate their moderations a little more moderately (geddit?) - with an explanation of WHY they removed certain elements of the posting. Unfortunately, they seemed to have forgotten that.



OK, I agree (and anyone who has a good grasp of the English language would also agree)that the series of removed postings had an awful lot of innuendo - but linguistically, there was nothing personal, profane, abusive or inflammatory. It was just the richness of the English language being used at its most humorous.



I fully appreciate that the moderators have to exercise their judgement - but once again - I ask if there is a written set of guidelines for them to follow? If so, it ought to be published. If not, then it should be.



James.

Hi Clive,

I don’t believe I’ve ever said "yikes" in my life, however, I did have a quiet word with PP Admin, who having been made aware of the problem sent me the following reply:

Hello Chris,

Am responding to your message regarding moderators. While I can understand your frustrations with the (volunteer) moderators, please try to remember that PP is developed, run and paid for by a small group of volunteers (of which the Moderators are incidentally, not a part of) so try not to judge PP by your experiences with the moderation you have experienced.

All the best and keep on planning. Hope you choose to stay with us.

It will take a few days to get Rory on the case of closing down the moderator function, please hasstle me if it has not been done in the next few days.

So within the next couple of weeks we should see an end or at least a substantial diminution of over-zealous moderation.

Chris Oggham

How about "need to thwart"

How very strange, despite the large volume of postings to this thread, large numbers of them appear to have disappeared without trace. This would appear to be censorship rather than moderation and I really dont think that censorship has any place in Planning Planet. I think I may just copy this post in a Private Message to PP Admin as I doubt if it will remain on the thread for more than a couple of seconds.



Chris Oggham



This was one of my posts deleted by an overzealous moderator in an attempt to cover up the fact that he or she had gone rather too far. PP Admin are aware of the problem and are taking steps to remove that person as a moderator and hopefully prevent this sort of petty vindictiveness happening again.



Chris Oggham

Judging by the rate of postings into this forum, none of us have anything better to do - or are we just having so much fun that even our Planning Obsessives/Compulsives are being de-toxed.



The thought of Sweatty Betty, though, is enough to put-off anyone!! Urrggghh.

Charlie, Charlie - did someone mention a line-of-charlie. Two lines are preferred, and I can offer £5 per-line and can bring my own straw.



Anyone got a couple of Kgs to sell? Make me dosh far quicker than this planning lark!!!

no, a dose of Charlie may do

This thread is like the kettle for the Queen of Hearts’ tea, it’s going off the boil. Would a large dose of Oscar provide a remedy?

oooooh did someone mention Charlie ?



Isn’t that akin to saying Macbeth ? Will the necroplanicus be doomed ?



a large dose of Glen usually works for me..



Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, etc. etc.

It’s OK to feel depressed, when you’re in recruitment. Just don’t do anything silly like jumping off your wallet.



Chris Oggham

after the book of dead projects...

i feel i depressed...







just joined and found!

All at once, he awoke - his body shimmering with the drops of cold sweat, instantly clinging to his clothing and freezing into pellets of ice. The eyes were staring into the crisp skies of a frosted morning, with blurring images of people stepping-over him as they made their way to offices - ignoring the fact that there, lying in front of them, was The Man...the one that made it all happen.



Had he fallen from grace or was he pushed? All that we know is that, today, rising stiffly from the muddy, diesel-ridden snow that infects the gutters, his slumbering nightmare had ended. It was all but a dream. Now was the time to come-in-from-the-cold......

woh

so cold in the lithuanian gutter

Charlie your my man man

X to sweatty betty

got to go my wife is coming back

oscar

The March-of-the-’Bots had been initiated. Homing-in on the victim’s signal, there was no stopping their murderous onslaught. Despite the inventor’s Prime Directive, a rogue element of the ’bots had been programmed via a virus infected Bluetooth download. Their LOGIC had been corrupted.....AND NOW THEY WERE ON A MISSION......

However, M had had Oscar chipped and knew not only where he resided but also knew his exact "furryboots". The Monitors were slowly coming out of their hibernation as they realised they had had is too easy in recent times. The rota of early morning watchers and listeners would have to be reactivated.

....THAT was the reason why the Electrical Installation contractors had quoted so cheaply. The 240V cabling was actually pinched from a set of Christmas Tree Fairy Lights. Oh my, how is he now going to warn them.....the building will burn, the building will burn.....

Thoughts aghast - maybe he’s at peace - propping-up the foundations of his last project - having spoke the truth, unknowingly, to Don Corleone. An offer was made, but it was refused. Of "The Family" he is no more?

Concerning Oscar, perhaps (Shock! Horror!) he has been kidnapped!

Hooters Arbroath ??? now that really would be nippy......

:-P

Aside (Sweaty Betty formerly of Rio now Houston and maybe soon to be Rio again) Should that not have been a squeak or are you REALLY REALLY working in Hoosters Houston or perchance Hooters Abroath?).



ØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØ

Oscar had indeed gone to ground. Perhaps out roaming the wintry wastes proving "Man always kills the thing he loves best"

Parp, Parp said Sweaty Betty.....

Oscar, Oscar - wherefore art thou my dear beloved?

Indeed - Where is Oscar???????

who had recently come in from the cold and was at work suffering from hot flushes induced by a Planning Forum at the branch office, The Ferryman, Aker Brygge the night before. Wishing to cascade to the interested reader, Sweaty Betty the Lady Planner from Inpana and founder member of S.L.A.P.P.E.R.S is, alas, no more. Now a house owning resident in Houston looking forward to the Rodeo. After throwing in the towel when her boss tried to reduce her meagre wages, she is, at present, a house mouse, and is "resting" between assignments. There is absolutely NO truth in the rumour she is currently working in the establishment known as Hooters.

Clive,



Is it contagious? Emanations of sporadic and meaningless drivel, reminds me of someone, possibly me, but someone else as well, just can’t quite think who at the moment.



Chris Oggham

After his wife had told him to get a life, Oscar had traded in his Planning vocation and was partaking in training for next seasons cricket. Still Shaney boy had better perfect that spin as Oscar, allegedly, was going to come up trumps.

who are we refering too?

nevertheless had a murky past.

To paraphase The Importance of being Earnest, it is unfortunate to misplace one mistress but to misplace two is damned carelessness.

The World of Lady Planners was indeed small, full of coincidences, gossip, intrigue and knitting patterns.

Still would wild Oscar own up to his murky past? Was she indeed a mistress or did he just mean to mention he was mentoring her?

Ah but Sweaty finally had a plan - and not before time they cried.

She had been secreting digging a tunnel under the floor in the Xerox room for some months and had at last come up for air (and a new pack of Marlboro).



Her next mission was still under wraps for the time being but soon she would emerge like a butterfly from a thingymabob ....



Just then

Clearly GFI/SW was still bound and gagged, hopefully from another lunch voucher, lunch time heist in Rio and nothing more sinister.

M morphing to SW returned from Moscow to the far north. She had reluctantly dispensed with the luxury of her 6 ft black belt karate driver Viktor.

Laden with amber, wood, gold, a non conflict diamond complete with a Silver Fox, nights oot in Aker Brygge would never be the same again now her wings were clipped. Still she welcomed the virtual reunion of her Nercopals.

It must be me, as I have a perennially guilty conscience as well as a murky past!!!

Which clearly did not. However, it would appear and He who cannot be named and Sweaty Betty Our Girl on Ipanea Beach appeared to be missing in action in tandem.

This promised to a more exciting in depth conversation than past Torry conquests and getting held up for lunchean vouchers at Teatime.

Still it was only a matter of time before the Far East Connection would work out a suitable reply to Ms last posting and mark the final chapter of the Dead Project Book.

A shadow passed across the face of the sun! Could it be "he who’s name must not be spoken" returning through a time warp from an interstellar trip to garner hyperbole? Had he not echoed the words of Douglas MacArthur and left everyone wondering if it was a threat or a promise?



Only the slow passage of time will reveal the answer.

Yes it was true - a broken woman was she - squashed by the Sevillians, who had pipped the smoggies at good old Stadium Pressure Safety Valve - never more would she go dutch.



Back in Pele land - all was quiet (mainly due to the striking workforce) but also in preparation for the MAIN EVENT - Copo de Mundo was approaching fast. The brazilians were waxing lyrical about their chances and the rest were keeping a low profile



Just then....

It was evident that Carlos the Jackal had hobbled home, distraught that he had inherited the dichromatism gene whilst the more robust planners nutured the achromatopsia version.

What really drove him to the depth of despair was that dichromatism was sex linked. How could he possible live with himself? Was he special to belong to this 7% of the population? Or would the inability to see various shades of grey (a characteristic highly regarded in the northern latitudes especially on Construction sites)handicap his undermining abilities?

Things were, indeed, quite quiet on the Wester Front. Despite people trying to muddy the water, plans had indeed gone underground and were rotten bottom up.

Still, the GFI was returning to Rio a broken woman now that the Sevillians were even dancing in Smoggieland whilst M was trudging East signing off Mustgo cant be rushing.

Far out in space, beyond the reach of all but the most powerful radio-telescopes, a minute object orbited a gas giant. A sun so huge that it was almost immaterial, so nebulous it was almost the idea of a sun.



The tiny object circled the giant like an annoying insect, and an electronic eavesdropper would have heard it emitting a constant meaningless babble.

batman is sleeping in hongkong, tired of finding M..m actually stands for maris, (mission ain’t resolved, it’s sinking).. he passed it to JB..needs a better software, which can work on top-down w/out altering the weightings...

PS no names no packdrill

The Pommy (Englishman) appears in his sartorial glory (actually badly dressed in normal terms), but still as as smooth as a Haagendas ice cream and thinks he can BS his way through the world with a Picasso like Tilos "Line of balance" diagram. The problem is the Americans and Canadians are present and everybody is talking about the smoking mirror, and discussing who can sell bullshit the best. Then the master scheduler appears, there is actually three of them, but he is the true one, and starts asking for explanations about cuts and fills (mass haul diagrams) and does his own representation which makes no sense. Another 5 minute discussion takes two hours. There is no justice, where is Batman?????????

Nelson, half cut and completely sozzled (Snowhite had immersed his body in a barrel of brandy when he had passed out in Deckins Stavanger)was sick of being tail end Charlie and had decided to recruit Frog 1. Despite Ms endeavours to search under every stone Frog 1 had appeared to have gone underground.

GFI was at this very minute landing in Seagull City off the Rio shuttle to pick up Herdies pies and was en route to a dubious Smoggie sporting event in the land of the flat and boring.

Despite the far and wide scattering of his compatriotes, Nelson had come to the conclusion he would get even, a case of an Aye for an Aye.



Authors note. The above events are based on actual act and names and places have not been changed to protect the guilty.

Watch out for Dr No’s dog, the white one, pretty vicious, might take James the spy by accident, the dog has backup called JAWS