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Do People really Know Projects

2 replies [Last post]
Tue, 2007-10-30 23:35
Jerome Atkin
User offline. Last seen 5 years 8 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Posts: 73
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For many years now I have been involved in major project (like most of you reading this) almost every project I have been on there is always someone who is in higher management or of a position of some power who have no idea on what he is doing.
You know the type - In a meeting they ask a silly questions and everyone in the room just shuts up and looks at each other !!
It always amazes me that even though all of us in this forum have came up with so many factors on “what makes a successful project”, but all (I’d say 90%) working on a project, which is behind time, over budget. My point while everyone knows what makes a good project and a successful one. How many of you really speak up and say to you peers that the project is going down if these actions continues (I’d say 20%).
I’d also say that the other (80%) while many people post really good ideas on how a project should be run, they seldom speak up at work about these issues.
How many companies want a plan for the client, not actuals on what is being done. How many times are you told to frig the plan to show that were doing “Great” instead of showing were “Crap”. How many PM do we bale out of the Crap just to get it kicked straight back at us !!!

I joined a major company and had to work with this guy as I was taking over from him as a Snr planner.
He kept telling me how good he was, how many jobs he’d done, but he did not actually do anything.
He fell asleep in a meeting and no one in the room could believe it !
He fell asleep at his desk !

Another was a project manager I worked for we were always having meetings, to make a cup of tea a meeting was called (you know the sort). But when an action was put on the board for someone to chase up (which was always critical) he never bothered to get tough with him or her when they did not produce. Instead he blamed the plan (planner) for being wrong as these people were not getting there sh!t together.
Also don’t you hate it when someone asks you “so what do you think we should do”
Then when you tell them the truth, everyone in the room looks at you like your some leper !!! I mean if you want my opinion then ask, if not ask the guy next to me the question !!!

I suppose where this thread is going to post all your funny / sad / stupid rants on things which you have been asked to do, some funny stories about when you have told the truth and got the leper look, something’s which really yank your chain about project s, some of the stupid things your colleges have done or stupid practices which you have been asked to do.

DO NOT POST COMPANY NAMES OR PROJECTS.
DO NOT POST NAMES OF PEOPLE YOU WORK FOR.
My aim is for some funny reading for all, about projects and planning in general and the leadership which fails every time. !!
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Replies

Sat, 2007-11-03 01:42
#1
Jerome Atkin
User offline. Last seen 5 years 8 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Posts: 73
Groups: None
Clive,
I would say it is our job to tell them the truth.
If they are adopting stupid methods which will not work then someone should talk out.
I know I do and have also been sacked for it as well.
But I would say it is more "Devils advocate" than trouble making.
But people in power see it as being a smart arse and making them look bad – as they are the ones telling the project to go down this route.
If someone under me tells me there is an easier way to achieve a goal I am all for it (as long as it will work) as sometimes even the seasoned can miss an obvious item.

I have been in many meeting when people have a great idea but say nothing.

Thanks for the reply – for a moment there I thought I was the only one who has had to deal with d!ckheads !!!!
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Thu, 2007-11-01 22:05
#2
Clive Randall
User offline. Last seen 17 years 6 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: 15 Aug 2005
Posts: 744
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The funny one is when you go to a tender settlement meeting

The guys sit there with 10 minutes of knowledge of the project and say "the programme is too long"

Not "why is the programme so long"

Then there is the donkey that has no idea what he is doing, and when you fu** him at the meeting you are told you are being aggressive. If you fu** a local you are being insensitive. Never mind that they are fu*****g crap and are doing nothing

I remember a safety officer once who bought a bunch of labels to be stuck on safety helmets What a dick and when I said your a fu*** 5 knuckle shufferler he got really upset

Still Gerome I have been sacked from a number of jobs for telling the truth, i still do it though.

The one I remember fondly was in Portugal when I told the PD that the local engineers were taking large backhanders. He didnt believe me and subsequently disposed of my services. 2 months later the whole site team were arrested including the PD on bribery charges. Glad I got the boot.

My motto has always been "your not stupid if you say something, you are stupid if you say nothing"

And now for a joke in relation to the PM whose head is full of shite

The PM comes round the site and sees a group of guys sitting around doing nothing

He points to one and asks how much he makes a month

1600 the guy says

He takes it out of his wallet hands it to the guy and says go away and dont come back

the guy leaves

then he asks what the guy does

the group replies works for Dominoes


Ha Ha

But you are correct Gerome every site has at least one completely useless waste of space in a reasonably senior position some have considerably more.
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